I’m single. (Because I fell asleep in this outfit and makeup. Has one night stand, but way too many books to fit on it. Tears ran down my legs. I’m just intelligent beyond your understanding. You don’t have to jump high for people to like you, love you, want to be with you, and notice you. Sure I did.”, “I’d hate to get to the end of my life and think “I could have eaten that!” #noregrets”, “When the waiter asked what I’d like, I handed the menu back and said “yes, please!”, “I’m just a girl, standing in front of a salad, asking it to be a cupcake.”, “Why cake? I have a lot of growing up to do. Here we have shared funny food captions with you that you can use in your funny food post that you are going to upload on your Instagram. If you love something, let it go. Signed: Floor. I want somebody to look at me the way my dog looks at food. I’d give a fuck but I already gave it to your mother last night when you’re downie eat a brownie. Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean. I walk around like everything is fine. I want to sleep like my husband! 7 billion smiles, and yours is my favorite. survived another “end of the world” scenario. Best friends. Did you say pancakes? Toto, I’ve got a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore. What do you call an owl that does magic tricks? I haven’t seen you post a selfie in the last five minutes. ... View all comments. Just one more cookie. Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean… But the true ones stay, like an octopus on your face. Today, you will get married, and I will eat cake. For the love of God, please stop posting pictures of yourself. Honesty is the key to a relationship. I’m actually not funny, I am just mean and people think I’m funny! )”, “If you think adventure is dangerous, try routine—it’s lethal. A smile is a curve that sets everything straight. I tried to embrace my inner child today and the little asshole bit me. If at first, you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you. When your ex texts you after months, “Hey, what’s up?”. The happiest people don’t have the best of everything, they make the best of everything. You are not a jar of Nutella. Funny enough. I don’t need a hairstylist. Me: Finally, I’m happy. Be with those that bring out the best in you, not the stress in you. They ain’t make me what I am, they just found me like this. Sometimes I have to tell myself it’s not worth the jail time. You never know what you have until you clean your room. She fits into your wife’s clothes. https://www.pinterest.com/debmercado3/funny-pics-with-captions My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems. You can use all captions for free. A wise person avoids it. Also food. Keep smiling because life is a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about. What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing “k” instead of “ok”? Eat a lot. I’m Always On The Run, Got Weight To Burn. You Too? Give me the chocolate and nobody gets hurt. They say don’t try this at home. Of curse, I talk to myself. Constantly taking selfies of yourself won’t make you prettier. You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do. Mirrors can’t talk, lucky for you they can’t laugh either. I have always depended on the kindness of strangers. Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside. Here are the funny Instagram captions for you. Me neither. LIfe: Lol, wait a sec. 86. Lesson learned. tried being normal once. When you can’t find the sunshine, be the sunshine. You’d have a big ego too, if you were as great as I am. 2. I never gave you a reason to hate me. Funny Sarcastic Instagram Captions. Can we just skip to the part of my life where I travel the world? Short Quotes for Instagram. I was born to STAND OUT! What if the princess wants to be with Bowser but Mario keeps kidnapping her. But in your case, go ahead. I wish everybody had one. Sometimes you just don’t need a doctor, sometimes your best friend is the therapy. A blind man walks into a bar. unless your name is Google stop acting like you know everything. It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness. How do I put this, you’ll never sleep again. If you want to write creative captions for your sistherhood, take a look. You look good when your eyes are closed, but you look the best when my eyes closed. Well at least your mom thinks you’re pretty. They used to shout my name, now they whisper it. I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere. If there would be an award for laziness, I would send someone to pick it up for me! The fridge is a clear example that what matters is on the inside. We organized all the greatest captions for your Instagram shots. Lives change like the weather. But really the kid’s kind of a genius, right?”, “This girl is on fire! Invite me to play Candy Crush one more time. Join the circus and grow your Social Media the fun way. You know you’re very popular when people you don’t even know hate you. You’re so cute. Friends: people who borrow my books and set wet glasses on them. Why you don’t consider my clever attitude in my serious photos. The older you get, the better you get. Wake up beautiful.”, “An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough.”, “I tried to be normal once. Happiness comes in waves. It’s been an emotional day. The best of Thymes, and the worst of Thymes. I like to call them Sunday Fundays. Yes, I am a crazy cat lady. Then I do the things. I really thought you already knew. I hope you dance like no one’s watching because they’re not—they’re taking selfies. But first, it will piss you off. And everyone can see that but you. Type above and press Enter to search. Now tell me who is jealous of who? I don’t have the energy to pretend to like you today. Fighting with me is like being in the special olympics. 8 Selfie Captions For Girls. Say “Beer Can” with a British accent. Life was much easier when apple and blackberry were just fruits. That’s the sperm that won. She cooks the same way. We’re on the same side now. Sometimes, all you need is a change in scenery. Actually, I am just incredibly motivated to do nothing. I don’t always surf the internet, but when I do, eyebrows. I’ll never try to fit in. I don’t think outside the box either. Do you know what’d look good on you? If you are going to speak bad things about me on my back, come to me. You and I are more than friends. A little birthday party they said, it’ll be fun they said. For your guidance, at one place we have got you covered Funny Sarcastic Instagram Captions that have a big impact on others. You laugh. Aye, I’m just feeling my vibes right now, I’m feeling myself. 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